Tongue in Cheek
by Jimmy the Gothic Egg
Summary: Raven and Starfire discover marshmallows. Sugar rushes and a scared Beast Boy follow. (no longer one-shot)
1. Marshmallows

I'm sick and bored and I thought this up last night, so here's something for you to read. 

**Quick Note**: This is set most likely pre-season 1. Before all this character development happened. Consider it set in the first few months of Raven's stay on Earth.

* * *

Marshmallows

Raven was… bored. And fidgety. This happened every now and then. Her emotions got a bit too worked up, giving her excess energy. She normally got rid of the energy by meditation, but she'd been meditating all day; she saw no point in it now.

To her disdain, Beast Boy came to the rescue.

Let's just say the empath and the elf did not meet eye to eye, or, in Raven's words, she would rather listen to Hillary Duff in an all pink room for twenty years than ever do something that did not involve crime fighting alone with him.

In his words, she was a grouch, and he was determined to fix that.

"Hey, Raven," he said with a bit of mischief glinting in his jade eyes, "Whatcha doin'?"

"Nothing that involves you," she answered dully. If she was lucky, he would go away. Unfortunately, fate was against her.

Beast Boy had been hiding something behind his back. It hadn't taken him long to convince Starfire of what he was about to convince Raven to do; the latter would be a challenge, but he was sure he could do. He pulled out a white blob of sugar, more commonly known as a marshmallow, and held it in front of Raven's face.

"What's that?" she asked with a hint of annoyance and curiosity. Her mentor and adoptive mother Azar had taught her many things about Earth culture since it was where her mother was originally from, but food had never been that big of a priority. She'd learned to ask before picking anything out that seemed unfamiliar, and anything coming from Beast Boy was most likely a trick.

"Try it," he pressed, and, just to show it wasn't a trick, he popped one into his mouth.

Raven took the sugar-blob gingerly and placed it gently on her tongue. Starfire had done the same, but that had ended in Beast Boy getting mauled for a packet of the white blobs. Raven seemed to take careful consideration of what she was eating.

"Something else that's pure sugar," she muttered and prepared to turn back to her book.

"Don't like it?" Beast Boy asked innocently.

"Never said that. I would just like to busy myself with something besides giving myself a sugar rush." But, as it often happened with humans, one taste of the marshmallow had started a craving.

Beast Boy thought for a moment, amazingly not a hard process for himself. He wasn't an idiot; he just enjoyed acting like one. His intricate traps and pranks should prove that he had a brain and one with much creativity, but his teammates spent more time screaming at him after the prank had gone off than noticing exactly what he had done to pull it off.

Luckily, Starfire decided to come in at that moment and do something he had not dared to do.

The alien floated blissfully, a bag of marshmallows clutched possessively to her chest. She paused at Raven's side.

"Friend Raven!" she shouted merrily, "You must try the sticky goodness of these marshmallows. They are most enjoyable!"

While it still took the other Titans quite a bit of time to figure out exactly what Starfire said, Raven seemed to get it in an instant.

"Thanks, Star, but I've already tried one."

"Then you must have more!" And with that, the alien grabbed a handful of marshmallows and stuffed them into Raven's mouth.

Needless to say, the demon was somewhere between shocked, flustered, and angry.

Needless to say, Beast Boy prepared to run.

If he wasn't so busy laughing, he might've chosen that moment to do just that.

"St-Star," he gasped, "That was… priceless… Raven, yo-you should see the look on your face."

Funny thing, the look on Raven's face had changed.

Beast Boy really should've gone with his first choice and run.

The demon metabolism is slightly different from a human one. For example, as alcohol makes a human, well, act like a drunk, demons would become more alert and slightly paranoid. Unfortunately, sugar had nearly the same affect on demons as humans.

It just happened much, much faster, and took a lot less sugar.

Yes, Raven was officially hyper. And a hyper Raven had nearly no control over her emotions. Thankfully, all her emotions were experiencing the sugar rush, which meant no inter-dimensional portal would show up unleashing any demons from an alternate dimension, nor would Anger attempt to take over Raven's body.

The latter could not be said for Happy.

Raven snatched the bag of marshmallows away from Starfire and began pumping them into her mouth. Her book lay forgotten as a giant smile began to erupt across her face.

This would've been much easier to handle if Starfire hadn't chosen that moment to join in on Raven's sugar rush. Thus, the marshmallow war began.

At first, Beast Boy was confused. Raven had had only ten marshmallows at the most; it took him at least three times that to even feel the slightest hysteria rush through him. He couldn't really blame confusion on Starfire's behavior. She'd eaten at least a bag and a half.

What confused him even more was that Raven was poking him like a five-year-old.

"You're green," she said matter-of-factly.

"Yeah…" he started, attempting to escape from the two hyper females.

Starfire began poking also. "Why are you green, friend Beast Boy?"

"Heh, a nuclear bomb dropped on my head."

Raven's eyes went wide. "Really! That is so cool!" She made an explosion sound and threw her hands up in the air.

He was so close to the door…

He heard a slurping noise and felt something stick to his cheek.

In a matter of two seconds, he was covered with marshmallows.

All Raven's fault.

Starfire was doing the same to the walls.

Raven broke out in laughter. "You're a snowman! Do you melt? That would be cool. I wanna melt."

Beast Boy attempted another escape

"Marshmallows are stick, are they not?" Starfire asked to the marshmallow in her hand.

Raven liked that idea. "Stick marshmallows. Stick, icky, gooey marshmallow. Sticky-iciousness-ness-ness." She stretched a marshmallow between her hands and stuck it onto Beast Boy. "Sticky!"

"Raven," he managed, "I'm really starting to think you're out of your mind."

"Of course I'm out of my mind," she giggled, "It's dark and scary in there."

While the demon metabolism only took two minutes for a sugar rush to set in, it also had a brief period before it was worked out of the demon's system.

And Raven's time was up.

In the time of five seconds, Raven's balance set back in, and she realized what she was doing. With a quick swipe, her hood was back up, and she left the room via soul-self.

At that moment, Robin and Cyborg decided to walk in.

Long story short, Beast Boy was screwed.

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**Author's Note thingy:**

I blame a Maria McMorbid comic for giving me that idea.

I added the thing about the demon metabolism cause a) I couldn't figure out a way for Raven to become hyper quickly and b) she's from another dimension, you can't expect her to be exactly the same. I was going to have Beast Boy stuff marshmallows in Raven's mouth, but I decided there would be less pain involved if Starfire did it.

I promise I'll update my other stories soon!


	2. What is it? Valentine's Day?

BACK BY POPULAR DEMAND (I swear everyone loved this story):

MARSHMALLOWS: CHAPTER 2

A few points: 1) still pre-season 1; 2)for the upcoming line about love, I sadly cannot take credit for it. Thank rimfrost (mental illness: deviantart. com/deviation/14456223/ or just go to rimfrost.deviantart. com); 3) I took the liberty of poking in bits of fluff 4) Title was changed. This is officially similar to "Reflections" where I just write when I'm bored. 5) This will not be as funny as "Marshmallows". For that, I apologize. 6) on with chapter 2

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Raven enjoyed mediation with more or less enthusiasm. She had never exactly been excited about it, especially since she was a small child and Trigon, her father, had decided to visit her during a meditation session. Of course, with the help of her mentor, Azar, she had managed to ward him off. He had promised to leave her alone until she was older; then she would become his puppet.

The day was drawing closer; she could feel it. Years, months, days, hours; irrelevant. Most demons lived for eternity; Trigon was no exception. He could wait fifteen years because that was barely a second in his lifespan.

Which was why she did not let herself out of her shell. Too dangerous. Which was why she avoided the other Titans.

Unfortunately, the other Titans did not have the same ideas.

Raven continued her mantra as Starfire slowly made her way into the living room; the former decided she really should stick to her own room. She felt the alien pause and with a hesitant breath open her mouth to speak.

"Whatever you have to say, Starfire," the empath droned, "Is it important?"

"I-I do believe so," she answered softly, "Or can you not spare a moment?"

Raven slowly let her hands drop and waved to the spot beside her. The alien nodded appreciatively; she had only known the dark girl for a few months, but she had quickly learned meditation was the most important thing to her.

"What do you wish to discuss?" Raven asked.

"I wonder," Starfire pondered, "If you have ever experienced love."

Raven dropped an inch before righting herself. "The mental disease that restrains your sense, makes you defenseless against incoming heart-slashings, and eats you up from the inside?" she asked flatly. "No."

"But you seem to know so much of it."

Raven paused. How did she explain that her emotions were resting in a parody of her mind, and were represent by 'mini-Ravens'? How did she explain that she had personally met the embodiment of love and the feeling afterwards?

She didn't. She did the smart thing; she changed the subject. "Why are you asking me this?"

"I do believe I am experiencing these feelings, but they are not as horrible as you seem to think."

"I cannot help you there, Starfire."

"Then I am sorry for you disturbing you, friend Raven."

"It's fine, Starfire."

A few hours later, Raven wandered onto the roof. She had often enjoyed nature, and, as a small child, she had used a cloud as the image of calm; lately the image had been getting darker, most definitely an ominous sign of her father's growing power.

She was mostly surprised (though not delightfully so) to find Beast Boy in her usual spot.

"What are you doing here?" she asked with curiosity. She had learned early on that humans did not take well to hostile greetings.

The green changeling looked up, startled. "Hiding and thinking. But mostly hiding."

She chose not to ask. Deciding the changeling would not bother her, Raven levitated and began her chant.

She was interrupted.

"Hey, Raven," Beast Boy said quietly, "Can I ask you a question?"

"I see no reason why not," she said dolefully.

"Do you believe in love?"

This time the empath could not stop herself when she fell. She hit the concrete with a rough _oof_.

Since when did Beast Boy think this deeply?

A beat or two passed and Raven straightened herself. "Why?" she asked too shocked to be suspicious.

"Dunno. Just thinking." He shrugged.

"Lost in thought? You?"

"Unfamiliar territory," was his sly answer.

"I'm amazed. You think that deeply. Brain get switched? Go messing with Cyborg's tools and drill a hole in your head? Actually learn something! The possibilities keep coming!"

"Alright, alright," he said, holding up a hand, "I get it. Sorry I asked."

She shook he head. "No, I'm sorry. I suppose you can't be a complete idiot."

His parents were genetic scientist; of course he was that stupid. "Do you mind answering the question?"

"It's an awfully vague question," Raven wondered. "Do I believe in the concept of love? Is there truly a force that binds people together? Does fate pair you off? Destiny? Do I know what love is? Is there a point to love? Are there different types of love?"

Beast Boy actually seemed to consider it! A monumental moment in the history of the universe, unfortunately unnoticed with many consequences.

"I guess… Do you believe in the concept of love?"

Raven though for a moment. "I suppose so. People seem to believe they feel it quite a bit. I suppose it is mostly a faith matter."

"I guess."

Silence. Minutes ticked by. They sky turned a phenomenal shade of red and orange and pink.

"Love," Raven finally said, catching Beast Boy's attention. He looked up. "Love," she continued, "is real, I suppose, but is it the sensation that exists or the connection?"

"Temporary madness," Beast Boy offered with a laugh, "Brought on by too much time spent with friends. Once the sensation passes, you go onto screwing around."

"Mass hysteria."

"Hating too much."

"Such as hate is brought on by too much love."

He laughed. She smiled.

A thunderous shout broke their conversation.

"I'm gonna leave now," Beast Boy said sheepishly.

Raven remembered his earlier comment about hiding. "I suppose you pissed off Cyborg."

"More or less."

Clunking up the stairs.

Raven placed her hand on Beast Boy's back.

The door swung open.

_Crash._

_Shove._

_Yelp._

Raven shoved Beast Boy off the roof and watched as he turned into a green hummingbird.

Cyborg was behind her. His normal eye was wide.

"You pushed him off the roof?" he shouted.

"He was bugging me," she answered simply and headed to her room.

The cure to confusion: tea and a good book.

It had been a confusing day.

* * *

I deem this chapter: _What is it? Valentine's Day?_

**A LOT of reviews:**

**Grey Rain**- Doesn't everyone? No, just kidding. This one wasn't that funny, but I still enjoyed writing it. 

**Papersak**- I think the last line ended at an awkward place. Ah well, you enjoyed it.

**Lizard Lad**- I know, I love that band name. If I ever start one (probability of that happening: two to the power of two hundred and seventy-six thousand, seven hundred and nice to one against (heh got that off of _Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy_)) I will definitely name it that. La De Da- Yeah, another fan! I'm sure you liked the line in this one. Blaze83- Really? I've never read one about Robin being sugar high? Then again, he never really interested me. Here's another chapter. They Call Me Sweetsnow- Yes. Yes, she did. 

**lady-of-tormentdeath**- Awww! I'm so loved!

**mysti-eyed**- I'm glad I made your day.

**Hanita-chan**- Yeah! Bows! 

**animeobsessed3191**- I was hoping someone's side would split, but I never seem to get that luxury.


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